Monday, November 29, 2010

The Great Golden Bowl

"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread."
~Mother Teresa

There is so much hunger in this world, but I am not speaking of the hunger for bread and gravy, I am of the need for spiritual growth, and the fulfillment, and nurturing of the human heart.  In the past, there have been many times that I have felt much like the grand canyon.  I felt a great emptiness hidden deep within. On the outside I had all the things necessary to survive. I had food,a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep in, and a job to keep it that way, but there were things missing...holes to be repaired, and canyons to be filled.  I tried to fill that place with chocolate.  I burried it with things.  I ignored it with needless distractions.  Going about my way burdened with worries I could not fix, and the loss of something greater and meaningful in my life and heart that I had not yet grasped.  For God is the only one that can fill that deep void, and He is the only one that can bear the burden of our worries, and fix the hurts.  Having found God in my early adulthood, I learned early the freedom of letting go, and letting God.  I no longer had a void to attempt to fill nor a grief that I could not lay down.  There is such a wonderful peace and freedom in having a relationship with God.  It is like our heart is a great golden bowl, that waits to be filled by Him.  There are so many people in this world that are still trying to fill that bowl with something,possessions,distractions,whatever they can get their hands on...but it will not satisfy no matter how plentiful the serving it may be.  This Thanksgiving, I pray that those that are hungry in every way will be given plenty.  That their great golden bowl will be filled with the eternal blessings of God, not just food, drink, and things.  I realize more and more as I get older, how much I have to be thankful for.  There are so many people that have so many needs unmet.  I want to take this time to acknoledge the plenty that matters in our lives...Peace, Hope,Love, and God.  May your heart be fulfilled with these blessings this Holiday season. 

Monday, November 8, 2010

In The Piggy Banks of My Mind

When my kids were young, there are certain funny things that they would say that always linger in my memory banks.  One of the funniest things that my son ever said to me was at a water park in Spring, Tx.  We had been climbing many stairs to go down slides of fun all day.  Later that afternoon, we were once again heading up another set of steps, when I son was about 6 or so, and immediately commented, "Mommy be could slip, and you could fall, and you could get hurt, and YOU COULD DIE, and how would i get home?"....I laughed all the way down the slide!

They are all grown up now...

....but they never stop making me laugh and smile!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Soup For The Soul?!

With a mind light like feathers yet hard to penetrate like stone
no recipe book could ever prepare ole' Gurdie
for the thoughts of being de-boned!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Scarrie View....

The mind is a mighty force that can change what our eyes see
it can lock open doors and keep our hearts from truly being free
yet the most frightening place we can ever stand
is where hope has been utterly abandoned.

Hope is like gotta have it to be strong and deal with the spooky things we face in this world.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Somethings Gotta Give Or I Wanna Refund!

I have two life long friends that are the world's worst givers of the lot!
One is Time he takes back too quickly what little that I got!
The other one is Gravity she keeps trying to give me more to carry!
Between the two, things are looking a little scary!

This poem is dedicated to my other old friend Metabolism.  We used to run the streets together, but now days she is feeling a little sluggish and down.  I think she needs a doctor.  I am hoping she has a quick recovery.

P.S. I have another friend named Menopause, but that is another poem all together.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Someone Elses Shoes

We travel the streets heading to our different destinations too many times unaware of the many conveniences and blessings that help us make the trip.  Like blinking,and breathing, we never take a second thought to it, we just blindly go on our busy way.  But we should be taking a second thought, and a third, fourth, and fifth, for there are many that do not have the same means that we do to get were they are going. They may not have a car,a home, or even a pair of shoes to protect their feet.
Recently, my church had a shoe drive for the homeless. We gathered together many shoes from different members of the congregation to provide for the homeless of Houston.  I could not help but think about the saying "walk 10 miles in someone else's shoes".  My grandmother had a plaque that hung from her livingroom wall that had that saying, and it always stuck with me.  We are always so quick to judge others without truly understanding their circumstance or background.  We would be giving our shoes and they would be walking 10 miles in our shoes, litteraly, yet we needed to be spiritually walking in theirs.  I just could not get that our of my heart and mind after that.  All I can really do is appreciate the many blessings that I do have in my life, and hope that when there is someone in need, I will be able to fill the shoes for what is needed in their life.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Willow Manor Ball

As you can see I am dining with Wilson at the Willow ball tonight.
He has always wanted to attend a ball, and me being the kind soul that I am, I just could not turn him down.

This is the neclace that he was wanting me to wear, but i refused!

I insisted on something more elogant and quiet.

These are the shoes he wanted me to dance in, but I put my foot down on this one!

So I compromised with these.

Betty Boop is modeling the beautiful dress I will wear...isn't she lovely?

And last but not least...these are the gloves I chose for the ball.  Wilson prefers gloves to rings and things like that. After all he is a little sensitive.

Thank you for inviting me Willow...we are having a ball!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Within One Gardenia's Bloom

She sits in waiting under a radiant sun
amongst her garden of friends
she knows her love will someday come
as sure as the autumn wind
she needs no manicure lipstick nor pearls
she will wear no garment in red
she is truly a natural kind of girl
and she is already dressed to wed
she will not spritz a touch of perfume
to beckon her lovers call
for she keeps her own within her bloom
for God has taken care of it all.

To read more fragrant prompts click here.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Too Busy Counting

I never smelled the glory in the flowers,
for I was too busy counting the weeds.

I never heard the words of sincerity,
for I was too busy counting the schemes.

I never took in the breathtaking sunset,
for I was too busy counting the days.

I never noticed the detail in the quilt,
for I was too busy counting the frays.

I never saw the majesty in the night,
for I was too busy counting the stars.

I never accepted the beauty in myself,
for I was too busy counting the scars.

I never enjoyed holding the wonderful gift,
for I was too busy counting the cost.

I never appreciated all my many blessings,
for I was too busy counting all that was lost.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Sheltering

eyes were
the windows
that showed us
his vision of the world
his arms were the walls that
cushioned us from the noises of life
his strength was the shelter that
protected us from the storms
we faced his soul's integrity was the
nails that held together our family
his heart was the door that helped
us get where we needed to go his
love was the foundation that made
our house a home.

Dedicated to my father.
Parkes Van Horn

My dad was more than a father he was our mother as well. His memory and example are what have formed the person that I am today.  I miss him more than any poem could ever express.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Souls of My Feet

When life comes after me like june bugs on my lit up porch
and my bunions have blisters and my brain feels scorched
there is one thing that sooths my soul
it is a warm bath
with painted toes.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Everyday In Heaven

"One Father's day when I was around 8, I asked my Dad why there was never a "kids day".  His resoponse was timely and sure, he simply said, "because kid's day is everyday"!  I was certain he was trying to make me laugh and nothing more.   It was not until I was an adult that I really comprehended the truth in those words."

(My Stepdaughter Amber, and her son Seth.)

Many years later I became a parent myself, and through all the sweat, tears, blood, pain, and squeezing my husbands hand so that he would not feel left out in the agony, I gave birth to a 7 pound baby boy.  At that very moment my view on everything was never the same.  What had mattered in the past was truly passed, all in one babies cry.  Nothing else mattered from then on.  It was like a slate had been wiped clean, or I had amnesia to everything that existed  before.  My focus was on a little one in my arms, and nothing more.  As time went by I came to understand the idea that was behind my father's words. 

Now I have many grandchildren, and that is a whole world of it's own.  In many ways to me it is like a little bit of Heaven right here on earth.   I have 10 grand children ranging in age from 14 years to 8 months, and they are all amazing, but there is one that I do not get to see any more.  His name is Seth, and today is his earthly birthday.  You see he passed away when he was only 2 years old.   It was the year 2000, and that time is etched in my heart and memory like a scar that can not be removed.  Today, August 13th, Seth is 12 years old  in Heaven.

In my heart I feel that birthdays in Heaven are probably not the way we experience them here.  I envision every day to be a celebraion there.  Loved ones being reunited, and those that are finally able to see God's face dancing and rejoicing.   I imagine it is not something we can truly grasp in our minds at the point we are at here on earth, but I have faith that Seth knows these joyous treasures.

This post is not meant to be sorrowful, bitter, or melancholy.  For me, it is truly a celebration of a life, just as a birthday truly is here on earth.   It is a recognition and remembrance of a precious child that filled our lives with so much joy in such a short time.  I know in my heart that everyday in Heaven is a beautiful jubilee for our precious Seth, and like my Dad once said, "everyday is kids day" in Heaven.
Happy Birthday Seth!
Heaven has been blessed with your wonderful smile for 10 years.
One day we will smile there with you. :-)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Have a Fabulous Friday

Life is the sum of all your choices. ~Albert Camus

I came across this dreadful picture a while back and could not decide whether to shudder with fear, or laugh until I fell on the floor!  I was even more dorky than I remember myself to be! This picture was taken after my mother had passed away, and my father was left to attempt  filling that void.  He did a wonderful job, but there were some things that just did not get taken care of, like my "fabulous sense of fashion"!  I definitely needed guidance in that department!  I only hope that my father did not take me anywhere that particular day.  It is the paculiar things like this that make me realize how you need to have a good sense of humor in life.  You can choose to "belly ache" over a situation, and not really accomplish anything positive from it, or you can find the humor in it, and choose to smile.  Our lives are full of choices every day; coffee or tea, paper or plastic, watch T.V. or exercise, stay home or visit a friend, linger in a rut or try something new, laugh or cry, be bitter or forgive....the list can go on and on. So today, I choose to have a fabulous Friday, and an awesome weekend, with a little bit more fashion sense than I had 37 years ago! 
Have a fabulous Friday my wonderful blogger friends! :-)

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The U-turns In Life

Remember, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns! ~Allison Gappa Bottke

Yesterday, I was drinking some coffee, driving down the freeway heading to a morning job.  I had a lot on my mind, as I often do, and when I was about to take my exit, I realized that I was taking the wrong one.  I had long since passed mine, and was heading to another highway that I often take.  When I realized what I had done, I deliberated finding another way to get where I was going.  The more I tried to figure a good route, the more my brain got foggy.  So I finally decided the best course of action was to simply turn around and go back the way I came until I got to my exit again.  As I was heading back, I started thinking about how this happens to us so much in life.   We get caught up in the daily grind of survival mode. Working, shopping, cleaning, trying to take care of our families, and somewhere along the way we get off track.  I currently have been going through some major changes in my life.  This last year has been a rough one for me and my family.  My son had gone through a major drug addiction, and now is getting help and going through the AA and NA program.  It has been a blessing to see the transformation, that is nothing less than a miracle, but the process that got him to that point was devastating for me.  It has made me have to take a deeper look at myself, and things that I have been avoiding dealing with.  Ultimately, I am at a "crossroad" in my life and I am having to make some big decisions about what I want for myself, not just for now, but where do I want to be 10 years from now.  I have been going to counseling, and have joined a wonderful church in Splendora, Tx.  I am trying to take my time, and really think about the decisions that I make.  It took me 40 years to get to the point in the road I am in now, so I know that it is going to be a slow healing process for me to get to a healthier place than where I am now.  Basically, I am going to have to make a complete U-turn in the road.  I am preparing myself for it, taking it slow, and thinking things through.  It is going to be a painful process, but I know that I can do it.  Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.  Please pray that I will go the right dirrection in my life, and for strength to do so.

So many others have inspired me with sharing their life's struggles...What U-turns have you made in your life?

Friday, June 18, 2010

Enjoy The Moment

Hello everyone,
I just want to wish everyone a weekend that you can take slow like a turtle, and enjoy the moments that matter.  Hope it is a wonderful one.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Balloons for Heaven

When my children were young we had a precious tradition that my step daughter started that her daughters still do to this day.  In the late 80's, we lost several family members way too soon.  The youngest of these was Heather. She was merely 4 years old when she was in a car accident that took her, and her 27 year old Daddy.  They were on their way to our house that day, and our whole family was forever changed by that agonizing experience. 
Sometimes when you go through something that devestating, you try to find ways to have hope and solace.  One of the ways that we did that ,was thought up by little Amber.  It was something special that we did whenever the kids would receive a balloon at a party or restaurant.  The moment we got outside, and to the car, the kids would look to heaven, and give their balloons to Heather.  It was such a simple, yet awesome act of faith and love, that gave us all hope in a time of grief.
That has always kept me aware of how powerful the faith of a child truly is.  We certainly can learn so much from a child.  I have learned my greatest lessons from my children.

What has a child in your life taught you?

Thank You Ruth :-)

My wonderful blogger friend Ruth (Underneath His Wrapping)  received this Outstanding Blogger Award, and being the sweet person that she is, she has shared it with me.  Thank you Ruth for considering me. You are truly an inspiration to me.
Thank you. :-)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Voices Being Heard

I spent many years writing and feeling my words would never venture passed the confines of my notebook.  When I finished a few poems or essays I had a select few close people that I would give them to.  Like preserves in the county fair, I would refer to them as "my next batch", and they would spread them over a table with coffee, and comments.  I so enjoyed that bit of interaction and feedback, but always hoped for something more.  Although, I would have never stopped writing anyway.  That would have been like stealing the cries of a baby, or the callus from an old man's hands; it would have been impossible. 
When I discovered blogging I was intrigued by the opportunity to be heard passed my own four walls.  Finding other people having the same passions with a unique and artistic message has been nothing less than inspiring.  Each voice has it's own history and legacy to bestow.  Sharing views and thoughts through this forum is that something more I was always looking for.  That is what makes blogging such a blessing to me.   

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Letting Go....

One of my favorite movie quotes is from Forrest Gump.  It is not one of the popular ones, but I think it is a great one.  It comes from the scene when Jenny is in front of the old house that she grew up with so much abuse in. There she stands faced with all the resentment and suffering of that time in her life and, how it affected her whole adulthood.  She reaches down in agony, and picks up a rock that she just starts throwing.  One by one, she keeps pitching, getting more and more distraught, until she just can't see another rock to toss.   She just drops to the ground sobbing.  Then Forrest comes to her side in awe, and just simply consoles her with, "Sometimes, there's just not enough rocks."  I think it is a brilliant part of the movie.  In our lives sometimes we just have to stop throwing the rocks, let go, cry, and last but not least, FORGIVE.  Whether we have gone through something so destructive or not, I think we can all relate and learn from this one.  I know I can.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Price of Admission is Free...

I have to admit:

I hate diamonds, they are not a girl's bestfriend.  I would much rather have warm hugs under the sunshine.

I would rather have a chilidog for breakfast than eggs and bacon....

I have a fear of riding a motorcycle, like some people have of riding in a plane.  Okay, call me a chicken, but all I can think about is what could go wrong. (Head injury,broken neck, charred skin, severed bones,DEATH.)

I have to admit that I apsolutely love Mondays...I guess this makes me a complete freak!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Journey to My Destination

It seems that I get some of my best ideas for writing when I am driving. Unfortunately, that is not the best time to try to "jot" something down, unless I want it to be my last. I have a little recorder, but it never seems to be in the right place at the appropriate time, not to mention the fact, that batteries seem to be an issue. My ultimate point is that sometimes when I come to a red light or turn, I realize that I have no recollection of the last ten minutes on the road. What a horrifying thought! This has happened to me too many times to mention, and I am still alive and kicking. I know that there are guardian angels that I keep busy on a weekly basis, and I am very thankful for them. I don't always remember my idea when I get to my destination, but at least I don't kill anyone on my way, and I get there in one piece.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Words That Ring True...

This song by Mary Chapin Carpenter was never on the radio, but I think it is an awesome song. I love the line: of all the things that finaly desert us pride is always the last thing to go. It is so true.

"It Don't Bring You"

Well I know it ain't been roses lately, baby, it's just been thorns
And no matter what we do, nothing seems to change
Love has always been my shelter, for you it's been a storm
But for a while I thought we'd almost beat the rain

Now there's a hole here in my pocket where all my dreams have gone
Fallen out like so many nickels and dimes
And last of all you, you'd always been my good luck charm
I should've known that luck's a waste of time

'Cause it don't bring you love if you don't love
And it don't bring you time if you ain't got time
And it don't bring you strength, baby, if you ain't strong
And it don't bring you kindness if you ain't kind

Now there's a whole lot of life to be unsure of
But there's one thing I can safely say I know
That of all the things that finally desert us
Pride is always the last thing to go

But it won't bring you love if you don't love
And it won't bring you time if you ain't got time
And it won't bring you strength, baby, if you ain't strong
And it won't bring you kindness if you ain't kind

And now I wish you only roses, baby, without the thorns
And I hope your dreams are always within reach
And I wish you shelter, baby, from all your storms
They scared you, but they never seemed to teach

That I can't bring you love if you don't love
And I can't bring you time if you ain't got time
And I can't bring you strength, baby, if you ain't strong
And I can't bring you kindness if you ain't kind
And I can't bring you kindness if you ain't kind

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Let Us Not Forget Memorial Day 2010

And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
~Lee Greenwood

It is sad to think that when most of us consider Memorial Day, we simply see a 3 day weekend and a Monday off with a backyard BBQ. We rarely extend our thoughts past that point. We need to forget this concept,and remember what truly matters.

The word memorial in the dictionary is described as an object that serves as a focus for memory of something, usually a person (who has died) or an event. This could be a fountain, sculpture, or a gravestone. Memorial day was originally commemorated right after the civil war as a way to unify the people, and honor those who died in that war. Later it became a memorial for all soldiers lost from all previous wars, and as time goes on, all wars that have taken place since.

When I fully grasp the significance of this day, remembering the lives lost, and the ones forever changed, I can't help but be drawn to the grieving heart of so many mothers of soldiers lost, and fallen on the battlefield. Each one, was once a baby in her care. That thought has a magnitude that really opens your eyes, and your heart. Sometimes when the hurt is not right at our own front door step we do not comprehend the ultimate loss.

Now holding my little baby grandson in my arms, I can only hope that the freedoms his great grandfathers fought for, will allow him to have a full life, not just a long one, but one filled with the liberties so many gave the ultimate sacrifice to protect. Let us not become complacent or forget,not just in remembrance of our great grandfathers, but for the future our great grandchildren.

God bless all soldiers, those fallen, and the ones bravely standing today.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Use of BIG Words,