Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Sheltering

eyes were
the windows
that showed us
his vision of the world
his arms were the walls that
cushioned us from the noises of life
his strength was the shelter that
protected us from the storms
we faced his soul's integrity was the
nails that held together our family
his heart was the door that helped
us get where we needed to go his
love was the foundation that made
our house a home.

Dedicated to my father.
Parkes Van Horn

My dad was more than a father he was our mother as well. His memory and example are what have formed the person that I am today.  I miss him more than any poem could ever express.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Souls of My Feet

When life comes after me like june bugs on my lit up porch
and my bunions have blisters and my brain feels scorched
there is one thing that sooths my soul
it is a warm bath
with painted toes.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Everyday In Heaven

"One Father's day when I was around 8, I asked my Dad why there was never a "kids day".  His resoponse was timely and sure, he simply said, "because kid's day is everyday"!  I was certain he was trying to make me laugh and nothing more.   It was not until I was an adult that I really comprehended the truth in those words."

(My Stepdaughter Amber, and her son Seth.)

Many years later I became a parent myself, and through all the sweat, tears, blood, pain, and squeezing my husbands hand so that he would not feel left out in the agony, I gave birth to a 7 pound baby boy.  At that very moment my view on everything was never the same.  What had mattered in the past was truly passed, all in one babies cry.  Nothing else mattered from then on.  It was like a slate had been wiped clean, or I had amnesia to everything that existed  before.  My focus was on a little one in my arms, and nothing more.  As time went by I came to understand the idea that was behind my father's words. 

Now I have many grandchildren, and that is a whole world of it's own.  In many ways to me it is like a little bit of Heaven right here on earth.   I have 10 grand children ranging in age from 14 years to 8 months, and they are all amazing, but there is one that I do not get to see any more.  His name is Seth, and today is his earthly birthday.  You see he passed away when he was only 2 years old.   It was the year 2000, and that time is etched in my heart and memory like a scar that can not be removed.  Today, August 13th, Seth is 12 years old  in Heaven.

In my heart I feel that birthdays in Heaven are probably not the way we experience them here.  I envision every day to be a celebraion there.  Loved ones being reunited, and those that are finally able to see God's face dancing and rejoicing.   I imagine it is not something we can truly grasp in our minds at the point we are at here on earth, but I have faith that Seth knows these joyous treasures.

This post is not meant to be sorrowful, bitter, or melancholy.  For me, it is truly a celebration of a life, just as a birthday truly is here on earth.   It is a recognition and remembrance of a precious child that filled our lives with so much joy in such a short time.  I know in my heart that everyday in Heaven is a beautiful jubilee for our precious Seth, and like my Dad once said, "everyday is kids day" in Heaven.
Happy Birthday Seth!
Heaven has been blessed with your wonderful smile for 10 years.
One day we will smile there with you. :-)